Being married can be so many things. The thing it usually always is for most couples is, “comfortable.” When you are with someone all the time things become routine, predictable, habit, pattern, and comfortable. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the comfort of knowing someone you love is always there and knowing what to expect. It is one of the great perks of marriage actually! Too much “comfortable” can turn into boring pretty quickly though! So, today we are going to shake it up with 16 new date ideas to spark your marriage!
Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor, Lawyer or Financial Advisor. All posts are my opinions and things that have worked well in my life. Please consult a professional for advice.
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Having a date night is such a great way to get to spend some time with your hubby and reconnect. Going to the same restaurant or a movie gets very comfortable and boring quickly. Don’t get me wrong it is nice to have something you like to do together but switching it up will help create the sparks and intrigue you felt when you first started dating.
Why you should shake up your date night…
Remember how excited you were to go on a date with the boyfriend version of your spouse? I bet you got all dolled up and were full of anticipation! Why? He was new and exciting! You were learning about him, trying new things together, and you didn’t know what to expect! The jolt of excitement when he touched you unexpectedly and the cute ways he would get you laughing! Aww… such good memories, dating someone you are falling in love with is the best!
Now, married and predictable, things can get comfortable and boring in a hurry. So, by trying some new dates together specifically for married couple you can bring back those feelings of dating. Science shows that doing something new stimulates your brain, increasing memory(creating good ones with your hubs), “novel “experiences are said to release the chemical dopamine(an instant rush of happiness), and we can increase our learning capacity! It will open the door to learning something new about your spouse and have an unexpected and new experience together(leaving a lasting memory afterward).
16 dates to shake up your marriage…
Now that you know how great doing something new can be, here is the inspiration to get you started! Remember to add to this list in your own way and try to get your husband to come up with some surprise dates of his own! Once you get the ball rolling it will be more inspiring for him to get creative too! Putting the first effort in is such a simple and sweet gesture towards your husband.
1. Retirement Date – What does retirement look like for you and your spouse? Have you discussed it? Plan a fun date around what you want to do together when you are retired. When the kids are grown and gone, how will you spend your days together? For us it will be traveling in an RV he wants to see the horse race tracks around the world and I want to see everything else! So for our date, we are going to the RV place to check out all the different types of RV’s out there and dream up our happy retirement ever after.
2. The thing you loved as a kid date – Think back to when you were a kid and what you really loved to do. I’m guessing you haven’t done it in awhile, right? Well, plan separate dates for the thing you loved and the thing your spouse loved as a kid. It can be laser tag, bike riding, roller skating, swimming, go karts, batting cages, the arcade. Seriously, whatever you loved and want to share with your spouse go for it! It will be so fun and silly!
3. Something you wouldn’t normally do date – Head over to GROUPON and scour the deals for something you and your spouse would never do. Snatch up the deal and plan your date with a fun, silly, open minded perspective! Maybe you will hate the activity but enjoy being dorks and hating it together. It will get you both out of your comfort zone and open up new sides of both of you to each other. My example of this one is painting, race car driving, or ballroom dancing.
4. The unplanned date – Hop in the car and drive until something catches your eye. Something that is new to you. New restaurant, new part of town, new place in your town, something you have always wondered about. Give it a go! Having trouble getting somewhere new? Play the left, right, straight game as you go. Take turns saying a direction and end up somewhere surprising! Just make sure you have navigation to find your way back : )
5. Dream house date – This date can be so fun! Go check out your dream houses together! You can drive through neighborhoods you love and point out your favorite house. Chat about all the things you both want it to have. Be extra fun and schedule viewings ahead of time with a Real Estate Agent to see inside some homes you would love to live in! Dress your best and play pretend that you are in the market to buy! How ever you do it make sure you are enjoying your dream together not being sour about reality.
6. Sports date – Grab tickets to a local football, baseball, hockey, soccer, basketball game and dress in your sports attire! Cheer your heads off and enjoy a beer and some concession food together! Such an easy laid back time! It can be minor league teams too(much cheaper tickets)!
7. Dessert date- I love a good dessert! Plan a date to go try a noteworthy dessert! Try something new and creative! A flaming dessert, fondue dessert, prepared in front of you dessert. Something interactive can be really fun! Scout out great options online and plan a super sweet date! We love The Melting Pot fondue dipping dessert! Mmmm…
8. Outdoor date – Plan a date where you get outdoors and do something you can both enjoy! Try a hike with beautiful scenery and pack a bottle of wine or beer for your reward at a great lookout point! Head to the beach and enjoy a relaxing day together! Go boating, paddle boarding, jet skiing, rent a kayak, try out a tandem bike. Be creative and get outdoors together! Try something you don’t usually do! Switch it up!
9. Event date – This can be a really fun date! Any fair, festival, concert or big event will work. Just don’t pick something you would normally do. Try something new together! Summer outdoor concert, state fair at night with no kids, concert at a brewery, a food festival. Anything will work. Check your city out to see what is coming and be creative!
10. Christmas shopping date – If you celebrate Christmas(you can use any gift giving holiday you do celebrate) use it as a great excuse to go get in the spirit! Do some shopping in the city, get Santa pictures, go on a sleigh ride, get some hot cocoa or cider, snuggle up together and be merry. We have made a tradition out of this where we stay in a hotel and spend the whole day and night shopping and getting in the spirit! It is something we both really look forward to now!
11. The out of your comfort zone date – This is a date doing something you love that is out of your spouses comfort zone and vice versa. Take turns picking a date that you love and your spouse gets to give it their best effort. Come light hearted and with no expectations and try to enjoy what your spouse loves because you love your spouse! Tell your spouse the rules and that you both get a turn to plan this date. Do it with love, not with the goal of making your spouse be super uncomfortable. Think something you really like and think your spouse might like if they would just try it. Remember the no expectations(with the exception of going and trying) rule and if your spouse hates it then that is okay at least they tried. Hopefully, it will make a funny inside joke at the least or maybe a great passion you can share together at best.
12. Train ride date- This is something that most of us don’t do often or ever. Grab a dinner train ride and enjoy a totally different date experience together. There are murder mystery train rides if that is something you might enjoy. You could ride the train to somewhere you have been wanting to check out too! Enjoy the new destination together and cuddle up on the ride back! What a fun memory to make!
13. People watching date – This is such a simple and fun idea! Head to a location where you know there is a great crowd of people to watch. Grab some snacks and sit back and watch the people. Chat about the crazy things people do and make up stories about people’s lives. Have fun just being silly together and laughing at the crazy things people do and the even crazier stories you come up with!
14. Tourist date – Go to the city you live in or a nearby one and play tourist for the day. Do all the top tours, taste all the well-known foods, visit the must see places, take the must have photos. Act like you don’t live there and really let loose together! It is fun to pretend together! You’ll probably stumble across something awesome that you never knew about too!
15. Learn something new date – Come up with something you and your spouse have never done together and both don’t know how to do. Hopefully, you can think of something you would both like to try. Learn to cook, dance, surf, ski, paint, and anything else you can think of. A good conversation to spark ideas is what have you always wanted to learn how to do but never had the time or chance to?
16. The sexy date – Go to an adult store together(with a completely open mind, no judgment) and pick out something together. It can be a DVD, a toy, an outfit. Another option is to each pick something out and take it home to try or pick something out for each other. This date can spark some serious sexiness and the anticipation of getting home will make you both excited!
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT GROUPON FOR SOME DISCOUNTS AND FUN IDEAS IN YOUR AREA!
The rules to play by on these dates…
I recently read about unmet expectations being the number one reason for divorce. We set such unrealistic expectations for our spouses! I mean how tough is it to be a loving husband, doting father, best friend, soul mate, safe house, lover, and so many more expectations all wrapped into one. Poor guy never stands a chance! And vice versa! Hard to love someone who never lives up to your expectations.
So, on these dates, your rules are going to be tough and not what you are normally used to. Give them a try! You will have such a better time and so will your spouse!
- Go with no expectations of how the date has to be or not be. Just go and enjoy the experience.
- Go with a lighthearted attitude. You are out to have fun so don’t let the little stuff get in the way of that.
- No judgments! Don’t judge yourself or your spouse. Focus on what you are doing and enjoying doing it together. It is so freeing to be in a safe space! You’ll find yourself more open to trying more and different things if you aren’t worried about being judged.
Be playful. Give love. Give gratitude(say thank you!). If things go wrong be grateful for what is right. Remember why you fell in love with your guy and why he fell for you! Love like those people! They were on to something : )
Okay, get to it! Start planning your first fun date! Share this post to hubby and tell him you have some fun date nights ahead and to get to thinking up his dates! Then send it off to any other couples who could use a date night to shake up their marriage!
I would love to hear back from you after you try out a date! Tell us what you did and how it went??? Even if you don’t usually leave comments I would LOVE if you left one here! Have any other awesome date ideas to share? Please do! I want this to be a place for women to connect!